[Note: Questions reflect the perspective of a Russian reader who does not know how things work in the USA.]

1. In Russia the overwhelming majority of writers first start to write, then fail, then think: maybe I have to study the craft and the publishing business before I start writing. Is the story the same in America?

   Sometimes, this is the case and why university extension writing programs are quite popular in the U.S. People working days jobs enroll in craft courses they hope will help them realize their dream of becoming a published writer. However, there aren’t many courses designed to focus on the business side of our industry. That’s really why I developed Marketing the Muse workshops-to focus on craft as it relates to the business of writing.  In today’s market, if you want to be published, you must understand the craft and business of writing.

2. What is the writer’s gift and how does it correspond with studying the craft? What is more important for success?

   Voice is a writer’s greatest gift in my humble. I don’t believe one can study this facet of craft. A writer can learn how to identify, nurture and develop voice in their work but no book that I know of provides a tutorial. The voice of a piece drives it; point of view is the vehicle. But it all begins with voice.

3. If you could change the past what would you do differently in your literary efforts?

   Believe in myself more than I did. I came from a very traditional American working class home raised during a time, the late 1950’s & 60’s, when a girl’s options were restricted to motherhood, teaching and nursing. First I became a nurse, then mother, and now I’m a writer and teacher. I was first published at age thirteen in our daily newspaper.  I was not published again until my late 30’s. My path is common to many writers regardless of geography. I think most writers possess an equal measure of arrogance and humility; arrogance in believing what you write must be read and humility in feeling that you have a lot of nerve thinking anything you write should be read!

4. You teach writing classes. Can you tell right away who of your students have potential and who have not? What are the signs?

   Usually, I do have a good sense of who’s got the ‘writing chops.’ Writers in my classes most always possess three traits I’ve shared here: voice, arrogance and humility. It could be that the work they read is god awful-craft-wise- but there’s something in it that captures our attention. These writers keep coming back to classes and most always find writing groups somewhere. They just believe that what they have to say is worth reading.

   However, let me add that I’ve been wrong. I have thoroughly disliked concepts that have gone on to sell I can think of one writer-a mega successful businessman – who wrote about success and the cosmos in a new age-y  style that read like a grandiose love letter to self.  I encouraged him to narrow the concept. He didn’t. A few years later, he sold it and made sure I was notified. Much of our business is luck that comes by way of hitting a trend as it emerges. There’s no way to plan for this which is why my advice to writers is simply write what you know.

   I also tell them to be very careful about the advice you take.

5. Do you believe that it is possible to learn how to write beautifully? Please, explain.

   I believe our art form is evolutionary; the longer we pursue it, the more evolved our writing becomes. That’s the beauty of the writing life and I believe it’s intrinsic to the practice. One of my mentors, Shelly Lowenkopf, www.lowenkopf.com refers to it as “The process.” Beauty is found in all story forms, literary, commercial, fiction and non fiction.

6. What are the most important things aspiring authors have to know before they try to sell their books to the publisher?

   Most publishers will not purchase directly from a writer so that’s lesson #1. Unless a writer self publishes-essentially becoming their own publisher—a writer will need a literary agent to sell.

   How to get a literary agent? Begin with a story that is compelling.

   Here’s an example: A few years ago, Stacey O’Brien, author of New York Times best seller, Wesley the Owl: The Remarkable Love Story of an Owl came to my Marketing the Muse Workshop that I was teaching at the Southern California Writers Conference, www.writersconference.com. At that point, her book was in an early draft form. Stacey was not a writer. She was, and is, a zoologist who was writing this incredible tale about her 20 year friendship with her pet owl. The story was there but the craft wasn’t. I introduced her to Sally Van Hiatsma, a San Diego based literary agent. Sally is known for nurturing writers along. She also has an eagle eye for good story. She knew Stacey had one. The rest is history. Stacey applied herself, learned how to write this story and voila! Wesley the Owl is climbing up NYT’s bestseller list.

   It always begins with a good story.

7. Can you give any advice for young authors?

   I developed the Young Writers Program during my tenure as Assistant Director of the Santa Barbara Writers Conference, www.sbwritersconference.com because our youngest writers, teenagers, don’t have many communities where they can go to for support. I’m an enormous fan of writers finding literary homes. Young writers need support.

   In this country, those that get what they need during critical formative years are generally those lucky enough to attend private schools.  My daughters all attended a wonderful private grammar school but when time came for high school, family funds couldn’t stretch that far so they enrolled in our local high school. I live in an affluent part of the U.S., Newport Beach, California. I say that because schools in my community rank at the top and I was (and am) appalled by the lack of literary support offered in class.

   My advice to very young writers, look for a writing group that feels like family. At SBWC, writers ages 14-18, spend a week with writers of all ages and levels. At the end of that week, these kids leave fortified and more confident. They also leave feeling more humble after a week of being critiqued. Like I said, writers are an equal mix of arrogance and humility.

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Jeff Moores is a literary agent at Dunow, Carlson & Lerner Literary Agency in New York City. Last spring, his boss passed along a query letter he liked but could not pursue. Jeff also liked what he read. He requested the manuscript and now represents Michelle Von Euw’s novel, FAR FROM HOME.

At about 500 words, Michelle’s query letter was an ideal length. Divided into four paragraphs, each one delivers necessary information needed to hook an agent.

Following the letter, Jeff identifies portions that caused him to request the manuscript.

To view Michelle’s query letter & our analysis, www.thewritermag.com

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You cannot write about going gray without including sex.

Gray is the anti-sex color.

One of my friends, a multiple divorcee, was completely gray by forty; a silvery mane that sparkled like she did on good days. By fifty, she was still single but didn’t want to be. Her hairdresser suggested going platinum. Only shades away from her natural silver, the platinum blond did attract more men though I don’t know if she snagged one. We lost touch.

Men don’t automatically become a cliché once their gray comes in; especially men with money. Those guys become distinguished and worthy of women half their age. A man without money sporting gray hair does make me wonder about Viagra, especially if he’s also carrying a spare tire around his middle. All this sounds shallow I’m sure but facts are facts: In our culture, we judge by wrappings. Though some of my best gifts have come wrapped in the ugliest packages, I still enjoy opening a lovely wrapped package. Who doesn’t? Which is why going gray, even gray wrapped in a silver sheen, is not a cultural mores many of us embrace.

One of my girlfriends just won’t acknowledge it. Every once in a while I’ll catch her shooting me a side glance. In her eyes I read ‘What the hell?’ though it could be my own projection. In the early days, my eldest daughter did not like my color shift and, in keeping with the genetic pool she flows from, did not keep her Op-ed to herself. But on Mother’s Day, she began turning the corner. By then, I was a few more shades into silver and she had a few more months to adjust. Her gift to me, along with a gorgeous buttery leather black bag, was this affirmation: “Okay, I’m seeing it now.” Her initial reaction mirrored my own when I first began to appreciate that my mother, a woman who always set the pace, was slowing down. Gray hair can symbolize that. But this ole’ girl still has game left. And now that my eldest has made peace with her fears, at least for now, she’s rooting for my silver to beat out any impulse I have to wash it all away with the box of Clairol Golden Chestnut Brown I keep around just in case.

Male reactions have been interesting. Not long ago I caught my Sweetie, who is silvery white and 100% behind my color shift, giving a statuesque blond the once over. So I posed a question women know men have no right answers to. That’s why we pose them. “Tell me, how often do you give a silver haired woman the once over?” We chuckled as he tiptoed through that mine field sputtering out verbiage about being sure he did.

I live in Newport Beach, California, the capital of ‘money can buy you just about anything including young women with large breasts.’ It’s no secret, men in my age group living here like big breasted young women a lot. I never fit that profile, even in my youth, which is why local men never paid me much mind. I’ve never minded much because men who believe they can have a relationship over any length of time with women young enough to be their daughters are men I have no interest in anyway. So there. Younger men are okay with my silvery hue. My guess is, lots of them are looking for mommy. When my girlfriends tell me younger men are lots of fun, I say they didn’t breast feed long enough though I believe Madonna did. However, her wealth puts her in that league of moneyed men. If serving up her version of mommy-hood to a 22 year-old young stud makes her happy, I say go for it until he doesn’t anymore. She can afford it. I’ve got three daughters whose ages cover the 20’s. That’s enough kids for me.

I’m interested in peer group camaraderie. Those old women singing ‘When I grow up I want to be an old woman’ on TV are women I aspire to be. I see me, an old woman, my long, silvery white braid swaying down my back as I move through a Vinyasa flow class filled with other old women and men.

That’s what I want to be when I grow up, a silver haired old woman. So far, I’m on my way though you never know, I could still go platinum.

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Embracing the gray.

There’s comes a time in a woman’s life when surrendering no longer conjures up a helpless image. Women who discover their sensuality midway through life know what I’m talking about. Surrender can be a good thing.

I decided to apply this principal to letting my hair be what it is, silver. Were it a dull gray, I might not be blogging about my latest bout with surrender but it isn’t. The women on my mother’s side gray well. When my follicles stopped producing chestnut brown, the color that grew in was silver not gray. My only problem with this color shift was that my follicles decided to do it in my early twenties. By my mid twenties, I’d figured out how to work the salt and peppered effect to my advantage. I was a grad student/psychotherapist wearing a teenager’s face. The silvery sprinkle added a dash to my credibility or so I thought which was why I resisted all temptation to dye it. Fast forward ten years and three kids later; no longer shackled with a teenager’s face, each time I saw my hairdresser, she begged me to color my hair. Eventually, I did.

In my mid forties, I tried reverting to my natural color but the ‘over the hill’ mood I was in needed the kind of boost silvery tresses couldn’t give so I gave up that surrender which pleased the new hairdresser in my life, a man named Eddie, who remains in my life today. Like most hairdressers, Eddie’s not keen on the color gray under any name.

A few months ago, I made up my mind. In a few years, I’ll hit my next big-O birthday. When I arrive, I want to be a silver haired woman who’s earned the respect silver haired women should get. Besides, I am sick and tired of dying my hair. Sick and tired of a stained scalp. Sick and tired of the weekly root touch ups I have to do between visits to Eddie who has now given me his blessing to be who I am. When I sat in his chair and announced my intention to finally come out once and for all, his only reply was “I think you can pull it off.” After ten years of listening to me whine about my eventual surrender to nature’s way, he may have decided it was time to surrender, too.

Unless you are willing to shave your head, the coming out process is slow. Eddie has me on a strict weave and cut schedule. When transformation is complete, I’ll post a new blog and include a photo. However, should the blog and photo not appear, remember, it is always a woman’s prerogative to change her mind. Readers are invited to share thoughts about the maturing of one’s hair and all that it means in your life… or doesn’t.

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